Getting it off my chest: costochondritis, trich, and starting again from Day 1!
Iāll apologise first for the huge ramble, but sometimes you just have to get it all out there! (Thankfully, this community is supportive enough to do that in!)
I remember starting this year 100% positively ā just achieved my Masterās degree, found a great job, got my trichotillomania (hair pulling) under control after four years struggle, established my perfect exercise routine. Until I was hit by severe costochondritis. I didnāt even know you could get inflammation in the chest joint until I felt how much it hurt (it can be so severe people go to A&E believing theyāre having a heart attack). Since then, things have spiralled. Badly. Iāve had costo consistently for five months now, and only this month am I having more pain-free days than not. Itās been so bad Iād almost forgotten what itās like to have a day when Iām not in pain. This has meant no workouts. Even stretching has caused too much strain on my chest until this month. I have never craved HIIT more in my life!! Itās been so hard not being able to strength train, something Iāve completely fallen in love with since finding FB over 5 years ago. So no workouts has meant the good olā black dog has moved back in, and so my trich is more severe than it has ever been. To top it all off? My job isnāt extending my contract next month. With my partner returning to university to study next month too, itās left 100% uncertainty on whether Iāll be able to find something at the same wage to afford the roof over our heads.
I guess not only am I starting from Day 1 with workouts again, but also everything else too. I canāt control the fact I have costo, or that my job isnāt permanent. But this week Iāve realised I have a lot to be grateful for in the middle of all this. For one thing, Iāve allowed enough recovery that my chest is better enough for me to start (super slowly) back into working out again. I wonāt lie ā things are impossibly hard at the moment, and it wonāt be easy to get everything back under control. But I do know that, when I do push myself through the rubbish (and I will!) I can be proud of getting through the struggle and appreciate how strong I am for it. Itās really let me understand that progress is rarely linear, and that is absolutely fine. Iām back at Day 1, sure, but what Iāve lost in physical strength, Iāve gained in mental resilience. Truly, Iāll bet this wonāt be my last Day 1 either. And thatās okay too. After all, every re-start is still a step in the right direction.
Although this post is really just a bit of catharsis for myself, I hope you can all try to see the positives in your own Day 1ās. Itās always okay to start again, because the important thing is that youāre actually re-starting at all. We canāt control everything that happens to us, but we can make sure that these uncontrollable factors donāt affect the things that we can control. Accept the fall, look after yourself, and allow yourself the time to re-evaluate what you can do. Take things slowly, step by step from there. But importantly, allow the time to be proud of yourself and what your body and daily life gives you now, even if itās not yet where you want to be.
And now, as much as Iām craving upper body strength (which will definitely bring on a costo flare up), Iāll settle for some just as beneficial low impact cardio and stretching. Iām going to be making a point of finding a little list of good things about every day this week. Things Iāve done, things thatāve made me smile, things I enjoy ā anything! So in light of that, what little things are you guys grateful for this week?
tl;dr be kind to yourself, always. And never be ashamed to start from Day 1 (even if itās your millionth).
Getting it off my chest: costochondritis, trich, and starting again from Day 1!
Iāll apologise first for the huge ramble, but sometimes you just have to get it all out there! (Thankfully, this community is supportive enough to do that in!)
I remember starting this year 100% positively ā just achieved my Masterās degree, found a great job, got my trichotillomania (hair pulling) under control after four years struggle, established my perfect exercise routine. Until I was hit by severe costochondritis. I didnāt even know you could get inflammation in the chest joint until I felt how much it hurt (it can be so severe people go to A&E believing theyāre having a heart attack). Since then, things have spiralled. Badly. Iāve had costo consistently for five months now, and only this month am I having more pain-free days than not. Itās been so bad Iād almost forgotten what itās like to have a day when Iām not in pain. This has meant no workouts. Even stretching has caused too much strain on my chest until this month. I have never craved HIIT more in my life!! Itās been so hard not being able to strength train, something Iāve completely fallen in love with since finding FB over 5 years ago. So no workouts has meant the good olā black dog has moved back in, and so my trich is more severe than it has ever been. To top it all off? My job isnāt extending my contract next month. With my partner returning to university to study next month too, itās left 100% uncertainty on whether Iāll be able to find something at the same wage to afford the roof over our heads.
I guess not only am I starting from Day 1 with workouts again, but also everything else too. I canāt control the fact I have costo, or that my job isnāt permanent. But this week Iāve realised I have a lot to be grateful for in the middle of all this. For one thing, Iāve allowed enough recovery that my chest is better enough for me to start (super slowly) back into working out again. I wonāt lie ā things are impossibly hard at the moment, and it wonāt be easy to get everything back under control. But I do know that, when I do push myself through the rubbish (and I will!) I can be proud of getting through the struggle and appreciate how strong I am for it. Itās really let me understand that progress is rarely linear, and that is absolutely fine. Iām back at Day 1, sure, but what Iāve lost in physical strength, Iāve gained in mental resilience. Truly, Iāll bet this wonāt be my last Day 1 either. And thatās okay too. After all, every re-start is still a step in the right direction.
Although this post is really just a bit of catharsis for myself, I hope you can all try to see the positives in your own Day 1ās. Itās always okay to start again, because the important thing is that youāre actually re-starting at all. We canāt control everything that happens to us, but we can make sure that these uncontrollable factors donāt affect the things that we can control. Accept the fall, look after yourself, and allow yourself the time to re-evaluate what you can do. Take things slowly, step by step from there. But importantly, allow the time to be proud of yourself and what your body and daily life gives you now, even if itās not yet where you want to be.
And now, as much as Iām craving upper body strength (which will definitely bring on a costo flare up), Iāll settle for some just as beneficial low impact cardio and stretching. Iām going to be making a point of finding a little list of good things about every day this week. Things Iāve done, things thatāve made me smile, things I enjoy ā anything! So in light of that, what little things are you guys grateful for this week?
tl;dr be kind to yourself, always. And never be ashamed to start from Day 1 (even if itās your millionth).
I hope youāve all had a good weekend!