Pet loss

TW - This post will discuss very recent pet loss.

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Two days ago I had to put my 17 year old cat to sleep. I have been extremely depressed since then. I know it is fresh and new but I can barely function. There are a lot of feelings and I am alone in my apartment now. We had nearly 18 years together and he was everything to me. He was my shadow, my cuddle buddy, my best friend, my support, my strength, everything.

He had quite a few medical problems at the end and my life revolved around taking care of him, giving him meds, making sure he was okay, etc. I feel a huge void in my life. I suffer from anxiety and depression in general but I don't know that I've ever quite felt this depressed.

I have no energy and I literally mean no energy. I have a limited appetite and no motivation to do anything. I know it's okay to give myself time to grieve but I am concerned that I will stop wanting to work out all together.

I haven't worked out since Tuesday, when the decision had to be made. I did light cardio yesterday but I could barely do it, I was so weak and had so little energy to even move.

Can anyone speak to their experience related to this? My heart is truly broken, I can't stop crying. I don't know how I'll get through this.