I haven't really posted an update on my situation for a couple weeks, mainly because I haven't been doing well at all and I'm honestly just ashamed. Thanksgiving started off pretty well. I told myself that I'd eat what I wanted, not stress about it, and move on without trying to "compensate." Long story short, I overate (mainly because I told myself that I couldn't eat the food once Friday rolled around), spent the day feeling incredibly guilty, and then did about a two hour workout the next day to make up for it.
I'm just so tired of this. Of feeling out of control around food, feeling guilty for eating a normal amount of food, and dreading every workout. I've only really worked out once this week and feel awful about it. I start off the day with the best intentions, but when it comes down to the time that I scheduled the video for, I get so frustrated and just don't want to do it at all.
At this point I feel anxious when I have to sit for long periods of time, because I know that standing up burns more calories. I know I need help, but at the same time, I just don't feel like I deserve it. I'm eating "enough", I'm only like ten pounds underweight, I don't workout multiple times a day, etc, etc. I know these are stupid and irrational thoughts, but I can't get rid of them.
I'm going to my doctor on Tuesday to hopefully get some of this stuff figured out and I'm terrified. Part of me just wants to give up completely, eat everything in my cupboard, and actually figure out a way to ENJOY the holiday season--because I'm not right now. Christmas is my favorite time of the year, and I'll I'm doing is spending this time feeling guilty, upset, and completely defeated. I'm just so sick of feeling completely miserable. I don't know what to do anymore.
Really struggling and in need of advice
Hey everyone!
I haven't really posted an update on my situation for a couple weeks, mainly because I haven't been doing well at all and I'm honestly just ashamed. Thanksgiving started off pretty well. I told myself that I'd eat what I wanted, not stress about it, and move on without trying to "compensate." Long story short, I overate (mainly because I told myself that I couldn't eat the food once Friday rolled around), spent the day feeling incredibly guilty, and then did about a two hour workout the next day to make up for it.
I'm just so tired of this. Of feeling out of control around food, feeling guilty for eating a normal amount of food, and dreading every workout. I've only really worked out once this week and feel awful about it. I start off the day with the best intentions, but when it comes down to the time that I scheduled the video for, I get so frustrated and just don't want to do it at all.
At this point I feel anxious when I have to sit for long periods of time, because I know that standing up burns more calories. I know I need help, but at the same time, I just don't feel like I deserve it. I'm eating "enough", I'm only like ten pounds underweight, I don't workout multiple times a day, etc, etc. I know these are stupid and irrational thoughts, but I can't get rid of them.
I'm going to my doctor on Tuesday to hopefully get some of this stuff figured out and I'm terrified. Part of me just wants to give up completely, eat everything in my cupboard, and actually figure out a way to ENJOY the holiday season--because I'm not right now. Christmas is my favorite time of the year, and I'll I'm doing is spending this time feeling guilty, upset, and completely defeated. I'm just so sick of feeling completely miserable. I don't know what to do anymore.