The following is a transcript from a real conversation with a friend -

Jesse: Hey Jayla, I have something for you to read.

My friend Jayla: Sure go for it

Jesse: Now this is a story all about how

My life got flipped, turned upside down

And I'd like to take a minute so just sit right there

I'll tell you all about how I became the Half-Blood Prince of Hogwarts

In Spinner's End born and rasied,

Stalking Lily was how I spent most of my days

Chillin' out, maxin' out, relaxin' all cool

just casting some spells outside the muggle school

When a couple of wizards who were up to no good

started making trouble in my neighborhood

I got in one little duel and Lily got scared

She said "I hate you and you know, you've got really bad hair"

I begged and pleaded with her day after day

But then my mom kicked me out and sent me on my way

She gave me a bruise and then she gave me my ticket

I magicked up some tunes and said I might as well kick it!

Platform 9 /34 yo this is bad

Drinking Butterbeer out of a champagne glass

Is this what the people of Hogwarts living like? Hmmm, this might just be alright!

But wait, I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, and have a dumb sorting hat

Is this the type of place they just sent this cool cat?

I don't think so, I'll see when I get there

I hope they're prepared for the Half-Blood Prince of Hogwarts.

Listen, for I shall say this only once. The plane landed and when I came out

There was a mudblood looked like an auror standin' there with my name out

I ain't tryin' to get busted yet, I haven't even meddled in the dark arts

I sprang with the quickness like a lightning bolt scar, disappeared

I held out my wand for the Knight Bus, and when it came near

The license plate said "Wot" and it had dice in the mirror

If anything I could say that this cab was rare

but I thought, "Nah, forget it, yo dullard! To Hogwarts!"

We pulled up to the castle about 7 or 8

And I yelled to the driver, "You insufferable buffoon, ten points from Gryffindor!"

Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there

To sit on my throne as the Half-Blood Prince of Hogwarts.

My friend Jayla: OMG