FB Family, I hope you are starting this new month out right and you are okay as you can be. Fair warning, I am not.

My weekend managed to top the not so great week I was having. I can hardly type this out, accept it, or even want you to read it. ..I don't want to get into details, but someone shot my dog, Cobalt. And when we found him, it was too late. He was already gone.

I should mention my other FTs and my family are okay. Physically anyway. I'm trying to be strong for them, but I'm having a hard time comprehending my reality right now. I was not prepared or thought this could ever happen.

It has been an awful last couple days dealing with it all. It feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from. My emotions are all over the place. This has been a shock to everyone. I'm in shock. I'm distraught. I'm angry. I'm crying. I'm not in a good place and I feel pretty broken. I'm sorry.

I feel terrible for having to do this, but I think it's best that I take a break. I just don't know how to be here right now.

I don't want to leave, but I also don't think I can host properly and you deserve better. Maybe in a couple weeks when I'm more together? I don't think things will be okay by then. But then again, I know it's never going to be the same without him. He was my first dog. We all loved him. He was family. And now he's just gone.

I know I shouldn't apologize, but I am. I really dreaded coming on here and having to deliver tragic news and basically ruin today's check-in. I contemplated not even showing up. But despite how hard this is, I feel you guys need to know as you are part of my life. I remember the day I posted here celebrating adopting my first dog and shared how we've worked so hard with him through difficult times to give him the best chance.

I know I can't give much right now and it feels ridiculous to ask, but please check-in how you want from your workouts to food to whatever. Maybe making this a bit more normal. I haven't thought far ahead on anything and I'll leave it at that. Again, I'm sorry.