Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. Bubba Cat in command today, comrades. And everyday. I'm the King. But of course you knew that already. Challenge it at your peril. Actually though please just take my word for it. 13 is too old for fighting and I'd like to go into retirement.
Miss Lynna was on the ghosting schedule today, but her internet's down. Figures. Wouldn't be the first time she's bailed on ghosting! Lazy. Not like me. I know how to get a job done, even if it includes using Miss Lynna's phone data. Because that's the kind of guy I am. No cutting corners with me. Just cutting up rats. And mice. And possums. And my enemies.
Miss Lynna would like me to tell you that having your internet shut off is a great way to avoid the news. It is also a great way to go a little cray cray with everyone stuck at home. I suggest chasing invisible air poltergeists through the hallway, and sharpening your claws on the couch. Instead she thought to call the internet provider. But they are not taking calls - just a recording telling you to submit your query online and then hangs up. Online! Perhaps in my retirement I will destroy my enemies with psychological warfare. Between this and Miss Lynna's university admin struggles I have plenty of inspiration. Meow!
Back to the agenda. Are you exercising today? Or resting? I embarked on my regular nocturnal maintenance routine last night: operating business meetings, closing contracts, selling paraphernalia, conducting surveillance, territory boundary expansion. And destroying my enemies. Actually I was sitting on the front porch. Then the unthinkable happened: the neighbors left their front door open and their dog came out and sniffed me. YEOOWWWLLLLL!! I escaped, but not unscathed: climbing fences is no longer easy on my arthritic hips, and I shredded my back claws. Then the dog took herself for a walk down the street so Miss Lynna went and got her and brought her back. No! You idiot! We were almost successfully down a dog!!
So I limped in the house and had a rest. Then I went back out. The war must continue! Then everyone fell asleep and I got locked out until I sang the songs of my people and woke them back up. Today I did some yoga and pilates. I did this by attacking leaves that have fallen in the yard. It is fall here, although everyone else calls it autumn. Most native Australian trees do not lose their leaves - just the European imports. And the leaves in our yard don't match the trees we have. They must have been placed there by our enemies as a diversion. But they are excellent training equipment so I attcked them nonetheless. I must keep myself strong and my technique en very sharp pointe so that our enemies do not prevail!
Let us not forget to discuss nutrition, comrades. Miss Lynna says stockpilers have wiped out the cat food supply and what remains is limited. I only eat two kinds of cat food: expensive and expensiver. The cheap stuff with grain fillers makes me puke. I do this in solidarity with Miss Lynna who is a coeliac and also gets sick from grain fillers. One of my cat foods was all sold out, so Miss Lynna bought as much of the other kind as she could. For breakfast I had salmon cat food. It's important to eat lots of omega-3s so that your joints are strong and you can destroy your enemies. It remains to be seen what's for dinner. Perhaps beef and liver.
I close this strategic meeting, comrades, with some advice: go out tonight, sit on the roof so that you are observing social distancing, and sing your poetry at the top of your lungs.
Signed,
Sergent Commander Leutenant Admiral Herr Dr General Bubba Cat, PhD, Pty Ltd, Esquire
Saturday ghosting: 21 March
WHAT.
Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. Bubba Cat in command today, comrades. And everyday. I'm the King. But of course you knew that already. Challenge it at your peril. Actually though please just take my word for it. 13 is too old for fighting and I'd like to go into retirement.
Miss Lynna was on the ghosting schedule today, but her internet's down. Figures. Wouldn't be the first time she's bailed on ghosting! Lazy. Not like me. I know how to get a job done, even if it includes using Miss Lynna's phone data. Because that's the kind of guy I am. No cutting corners with me. Just cutting up rats. And mice. And possums. And my enemies.
Miss Lynna would like me to tell you that having your internet shut off is a great way to avoid the news. It is also a great way to go a little cray cray with everyone stuck at home. I suggest chasing invisible air poltergeists through the hallway, and sharpening your claws on the couch. Instead she thought to call the internet provider. But they are not taking calls - just a recording telling you to submit your query online and then hangs up. Online! Perhaps in my retirement I will destroy my enemies with psychological warfare. Between this and Miss Lynna's university admin struggles I have plenty of inspiration. Meow!
Back to the agenda. Are you exercising today? Or resting? I embarked on my regular nocturnal maintenance routine last night: operating business meetings, closing contracts, selling paraphernalia, conducting surveillance, territory boundary expansion. And destroying my enemies. Actually I was sitting on the front porch. Then the unthinkable happened: the neighbors left their front door open and their dog came out and sniffed me. YEOOWWWLLLLL!! I escaped, but not unscathed: climbing fences is no longer easy on my arthritic hips, and I shredded my back claws. Then the dog took herself for a walk down the street so Miss Lynna went and got her and brought her back. No! You idiot! We were almost successfully down a dog!!
So I limped in the house and had a rest. Then I went back out. The war must continue! Then everyone fell asleep and I got locked out until I sang the songs of my people and woke them back up. Today I did some yoga and pilates. I did this by attacking leaves that have fallen in the yard. It is fall here, although everyone else calls it autumn. Most native Australian trees do not lose their leaves - just the European imports. And the leaves in our yard don't match the trees we have. They must have been placed there by our enemies as a diversion. But they are excellent training equipment so I attcked them nonetheless. I must keep myself strong and my technique en very sharp pointe so that our enemies do not prevail!
Let us not forget to discuss nutrition, comrades. Miss Lynna says stockpilers have wiped out the cat food supply and what remains is limited. I only eat two kinds of cat food: expensive and expensiver. The cheap stuff with grain fillers makes me puke. I do this in solidarity with Miss Lynna who is a coeliac and also gets sick from grain fillers. One of my cat foods was all sold out, so Miss Lynna bought as much of the other kind as she could. For breakfast I had salmon cat food. It's important to eat lots of omega-3s so that your joints are strong and you can destroy your enemies. It remains to be seen what's for dinner. Perhaps beef and liver.
I close this strategic meeting, comrades, with some advice: go out tonight, sit on the roof so that you are observing social distancing, and sing your poetry at the top of your lungs.
Signed,
Sergent Commander Leutenant Admiral Herr Dr General Bubba Cat, PhD, Pty Ltd, Esquire