My husband and I found out that his dear, life-long friend passed away today. D was 46.

I’m angry. D’s death could have been avoided if he would have made better lifestyle choices. He could have said, no to cigarettes, no to pills and other substances. D died because his heart and lungs were so deteriorated that his body could not fight off the pneumonia it battled this past week. He left a mother without a son, my husband without his “brother” and many friends grieving.

It’s easy for me to sit here on my hurt and anger, blaming D for his choices. Thinking he should have lived his life in a different way. A life so many of us here on the forum have chosen to live, fight every day to live. But in the end, D struggled to survive in this world. Always fighting against the tangled webs mental illness and addiction creates. Self medicating against his mental illness. It’s so hard to see someone you care for trying to survive while simultaneously killing themselves. How can I not forgive one who did the very best that they could with what they had?

I wanted to share this, first, because I needed to vent my emotional vomit. But also because D’s death is a reminder for me to be grateful for what I have. I’m so very grateful to now have coping mechanisms that for the most part keep me healthy and present. I’m thankful I have the drive to remain fit. I’m thankful to have a place and community to share struggles and rejoice in triumphs.

Thanks for listening. #grievingpostcomplete #wewillmissyouD

Now lets all go over to EtotheK's post and bask in the cuteness that is Trainer M: https://www.fitnessblender.com/community/discussion/17768/did-you